Friday, October 20, 2006

I guess that looks like Waldo

So I just read a great article in the Times about Halloween. Let me preface by saying that I am a HUGE fan of Halloween.

1. Candy...for free! I mean how can you turn this down. And it's not like it ends when were in high school. We take a few years off b/c that's SO below us...but then we remember the great mini-sized candy bars and the sugar daddies (are those sold any other time of year) and we get right back into it.
2. Pumpkin carving. Next to Michelangelo, I think pumpkin carvers are the biggest pimps in the sculpting world. To take some fat, odd vegetable and make it light up is awesome. And I know most of you like to eat them seeds too...you know it.
3. Dressing up. The costumes I see at this time of year are great. We all have that time when we see someone with an amazing costume that we just want to give that person all of the candy in our bag because it was so brilliant.

Counting the reasons I love Halloween is like trying to list my favorite movies...it will never end. Back to the article though. It spoke on how the costumes for women during Halloween have become more of a bathing suit with a witch/nurse/ref's feel to it. I'm really confused by this. I haven't seen outfits these trashy at a strip club, but on Halloween I'll see my fair share. They're also a little too pedophilia for me (see below).



This is when the male part of my brain jumps in and says, "What are you even arguing about this for?! Isn't this the best thing ever?!" And then I hit my head and tell it to stop talking to me. It is difficult at first because every man's fantasy comes true on this day. Do you like the Tarzan-jungle like women...but sexy? Do you like the French maid...but sexy? Do you like George W...but sexy? It's a kinky person's dream.

Then reason comes in. First off, guys we're wearing a cheesy Superman costume or Chewbacca outfit...do you really think that's going to get these amazing looking women turned on? I mean I know some women who have a Chewbacca fetish...but it's small. Secondly, I don't know if you've ever tried dancing, walking, or even breathing with a Halloween costume on but it's impossible. Add a mask and you're sweating and wheezing like someone with TB. Now that's sexy. Finally, it just perpetuates these stereotypes that men can do whatever they want and looks don't matter, however, if these women don't dress up then they'll be ignored at the party. Let's give credit where credit is due. It doesn't take any skill or creative thought to wear a short skirt, small top, and horns and say you're a devil. I did once see a woman dressed up as a mouse with a halo and I asked what she was. "Failed Lab Rat" is what she said. That's hilarious and creative. Those are the women that should be getting our attention.

PS: Below is my Halloween costume. Hopefully I can pull it off.

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