Thursday, June 01, 2006

The Worst Type of Scavenger Hunt

So before I started this whole blogging thing, I had done a great deal of research. By research, I mean reading other's blogs and thinking, "I can do that...but funnier!" Let's hope this is one of those times when what I think is actually right. Anyway, I've discovered that although there are hundreds of blogs in this Internet Sea, there are really only five main types.

1. The Political Blog

This type of blog can be divided into two sub-blogs. One being the "Bush is the stupidest, ugliest, redneckiest idiot I can think of in the history of humans and he and his entire cabinet should burn!" I've never understood why it is that people don't like the President's furniture...but to each his own. The other is the "President Bush is a hero to this country and all liberal, bleeding heart, pansies should toughen up and get real!" I'm very concerned about these non-liberals...what does their heart run on?

2. The Ideological Blog

This blog is the one that really makes you think. It's usually a very hip, young man/woman that lives in New York and has all these pondering questions on why is it that fur is legal but hemp is not. Or how can a God exist in a world where Big Momma's House 2 does number one in the box office. And other mind bending questions. Let me start over...this blog is the one that makes you think how is this person sober enough to type and how can they afford to live in NY and I'm still eating Lean Pockets?

3. The Like Oh My God Blog! :) @-->--

This is the blog that sometimes makes me taste bile. It's the ever famous blog of what you're hoping is a 12-13 year old girl, and discover it's the Assistant *Insert Job Title* that is at all your meetings. This 20-30 year old writes in her blog about "how totally rude Chad was at the party and luckily my beotchs were there to laugh and dance with me...dont'cha wish your girl was hot like me?!" These blogs can tend to upset me b/c I wonder how did someone with the writing skills of Girl Talk Diary get a job better than mine...but then I remember with a simple click of the Print button I can bring her down to my level.

4. The Nerd Blog

Hey, want to know about the hilarious animation mistake in the forest scene in LOTR2. If you're like me you don't even know what LOTR means (it's Lord of the Rings btw, lol). These blogs have all this info. From what Transformer characters will be in the next Michael Bay flick, to the number of times Seinfeld has said the phrase "Neuman". I have to admit, I like these blogs though b/c they're not trying to be anything other than what they truly are.

And finally, my least favorite type of blog:

5. The Scavenger Hunt

These blogs have so many hyperlinks I forgot what I was reading by the first sentence. Almost every word in the blog is a link to something else. Here is an example of what appears online:

I overheard two women talking about Enron today. I couldn't believe how stupid they were.

JUST WRITE WHAT YOU WANT US TO KNOW! I feel like I'm back in college and looking at the references to every sentence in a book I'm doing research on. After reading these blogs I usually take a nap.

So I guess my blogs fall in a sixth category The Rambling Blogs. These are my favorite, not only because it's the type I write, but it's usually some normal person's perspective on life and the little things that can either piss us off or make us laugh so hard we pee our pants. Either way urine is involved and that can't be bad. So please, enjoy my ramblings and take them with a grain of helps lower your cholesterol.

1 comment: said...

You've officially exceeded my expectations for this blog. Oh, and I'm drunk.